Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Sacred Friendships



It's 9:am when I crawl out of bed.  11:00 when I climb back in
I give in to fatigue which I usually fight
it's act a foreign pleasure edged with guilt


24 hours ago the end of a sacred and troublesome friendship
is she crying
I'm not
I feel guilty
I'm not there to comfort
I miss my spot

relief and freedom cradle my head
I fear for what cradles hers
she's strong and smart and not one to linger
her path is solid
it  will soften her way

a new way for me
and a new way for her
uncharted
uncolored
her choice my choice

relief and freedom edged with grey
mine and hers
but however received
sacred
like friendship



Liv


9 comments:

  1. Oh honey, that's rough. So sorry. Sometimes it is for the best. Still, it sucks.

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  2. Yes, it sucks. But, it's two lives moving forward, there's good in that.

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  3. I totally understand. Totally.

    I've written a long long post about this very thing. I am hesitating to publish, since it's so personal and not just MY Personal...but this is inspiring me to edit it a bit and then post.

    This kind of friend-hurt is its own kind of heartbreak and even worse because it doesn't have a name or something that is talked about very often for fear of sounding like a weirdo.

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  4. SJ,

    I hope you will post it. It was a sad and difficult decision because this was a friendship of 42! years. So it was no small thing and there was a long and searching contemplation before I made my decision.
    But I've got to tell you, this happened on Tuesday and today I feel like a new person. I'm going to blog about that a little too. Sometimes no matter how much you love someone and how much you've shared - you just know you've got to stop. I couldn't possibly have lived the rest of my life with peace (god bless her) if I had allowed it to go on. And today...I feel different, really different and it's a happy different.
    So, I made the right decision.
    Posting does make one feel better, that's my experience. It clarifies and validates and that is very important. xo

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  5. I'm sooo glad!! I feel lighter having just written it all out, and better able to admit certain things and better able to see clearly what triggered the hell out of me at times. Clarifies and validates, indeed :)

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  6. I liked your poem and I liked your first reply. We never tend to think of two lives moving forward but that's what it is in the end.

    Greetings from London.

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  7. ACL,

    You have a tender soul.

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  8. As I said to a friend the other day- sometimes two friends (or even two relatives) can just be done. Enough and all has been gotten from the relationship and there is simply no more.
    Doesn't mean it's not hard though. It is.

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  9. Mary,
    You's so right and I think that's a wisdom you know from your own experience. I think I got a tiny bit of courage to do this from one of your long ago posts.
    It is sad and hard, but I tell you - I feel like a different person, in a stronger way.

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