Monday, April 24, 2017

Seat in upright position -- (seat belt un - locked)

Well, I'm glad that little storm is over, thanks for ridin' it out with me.  Your comments and concern have helped immeasurably. What an amazing bunch of people you are! I couldn't reply that day because, well, you know what it's like.
                                                                     
The days are settled down a bit. And I am grateful that we are still all in it together. I've used this picture before in my India posts and it is just so adorable and appropriate for what happens on blogger - support and joy. 
                                                               we are in this together

I'm glad those storms only come once in a while. And that days of silly happiness are possible even if circumstances are not perfect, as they never are.   Thank you all!

I think, for me, a lot of this anxiety (intensified by a shitty hard time in life) becomes more intensified because I don't eat much. Isn't that silly? I've gotten so used to eating small meals, due to that anxiety, that it never dawns on me that I am still hungry.   My daughter, helped me realize that the other night when she made me list all the things I had eaten that day.  All were healthy, but there just wasn't enough of them.  And I cook, not all that often, but by the time I finish it, I'm not hungry. So today I went to the Deli and got .....  mashed potatoes and gravy, yes I did! It was soooo good, I ate the whole thing, and I bought ice cream.  Neither one so healthy, but easy to eat lots of and I have to get my stomach used to that again. (well ice creams not a bulker, but damn it's good)  Salad is just not going to do it.

I'm going back to see the surgeon tomorrow. This should be interesting, as I think this stupid expensive operation on my sinuses didn't really work. It's been a little over a month and I have done the yuk salt sprays every day, but I still sound like I have a stuffy nose from a cold.  I also have a pretty raspy voice from an enlarged thyroid pushing against my voice box. It's due to radiation from breast cancer, so people are always wondering if I used to be a smoker......I think it's kind of sexy, raspy haha, so I really don't mind if it stays this way, makes me a bit interesting...like a scare on your face. I always wanted one of those too when I was young, just a little tiny one because lots of stars in the old movies had one and I thought, again....sexy/interesting. I wanted to be to be Piper Laurie - but I don't think she has a scar, come to think of it, she doesn't really have a raspy voice either, just deep. Mine is deep too, so, well, there ya go - the teenage mind.

I got the traditional red geranium plants at the nursery yesterday (an homage to my grandmother who had glorious ones planted all along the front of her house). A deep, true red not the orangey one.  They just make me feel happy and connected to a good memory. That's nice.

I've been doing some meditating ---
                                                                                    
That picture incorporates your good advice for getting a dog, Ellen, way up on the list, but a bit down the road.  And I've been doing a bit of yoga...lie, dancing...lie, thinking of moving my body --- well, I am seriously thinking of taking a walk. I actually have found a great place to walk here, it only took 2 years! It's mostly downhill (excellent for that nuisance osteoporosis) and not too much uphill to get back to the beginning.  I'd have to draw you a map to explain it.  I really get bad vides on most of the walks around here, it's weird. I've only seen a live person 2 or 3 times and that is just creepy -- too stepford.

So, onward and upward, Livy girl!!
And, an aside, as I almost always have one.  I read this rant on Facebook the other day about how we are not supposed to call women "girl" anymore. It demeans us especially when used condescendingly by men, I get it, but the article went on to say we put ourselves down a bit when we use it with each other. I don't agree. Sometimes PC goes too far.  I love to say girl - to girl friends and when joking - I just think it's sweet and conveys affection. So, girl, I'm gonna keep on. Boy...not so good, guy, good.

And I'm adding this one now, too, because if I don't I will forget it by the next post.  I had a coke the other day, I wanted to have a little treat. Swear to God, I have not had one in at least 20 years. I just don't care for sodas. It was great, ice to the top, so refreshing.  Thennnn, I had another one the other day, because the first was so good.  Yesterday and today I am totally jonesin' for one.  They are addictive!!!! I will not have another one for a long time, but I sure do understand the soda epidemic in this country.  It took effort for me to say no - after 2! What it must be like for people who can't stop. I feel very sorry for them.

Thanks again -- and take good care.
Liv

16 comments:

  1. I too use girl as a term of endearment. Those rants are one reason I never signed up for facebook. So glad your spirits are better, but damn, girl, take care of yourself!
    xoxo
    Barbara

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  2. I am happy to hear you are bouncing back, and trying to eat more. You have been in my thoughts. Interesting experiment with coke. A bit frightening how addictive it is and how extensively it is used by the masses as a little "pick me up."

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    1. It's crazy isn't it? It is that "pick me up" thing, but my daughter says it doesn't even have as much caffeine as a cup of coffee - go figure.
      But I'm telling you, Colette - I even want one now...omg. I am so glad I have self control over things like that!

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  3. seems we have similar problems...thyroid, deep voice, nasal in my case. I won't let them cut on me though. if you want an occasional soda try and find Izzy. All natural. And start eating girl! and the girl thing. I read that and commented. I don't mind us women saying it to each other but it galls me when men do it (they would never tolerate being called boys). to me it's a subtle language reinforcement to keep women unequal.

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    1. Well, I had to let them cut me or I would have wound up dead from strangulation due to massive snot.
      lzzy? I'll have to look for it. Yeah, that's so true about the boy thing, but I'm tempted to do it sometime when some guy is being rude. But then - the racial thing - better not.

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  4. I am still glad you are feeling better, Liv.

    Get a dog!

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    1. Ha ha ah - yes, I really do want a dog. But that can't happen until I figure out if I am going to England or not. And then there is the landlord. I got Marley in with a "companion pet" thing, but they just about blew a gasket and I don't want to go through that right now. But as soon as I am settled, yes!!

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    2. A kitten then? A purr baby!

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  5. I say "girl" constantly! I picked it up from a coworker who also uses a liberal spelling of this endearment - sometimes texting me things like "gyrl! Have you tried chicken and waffles!?"

    Anyhoo. I'm glad the storm passed. I rarely even think of Easter as a holiday, and I had McDonald's as my Easter lunch ;) I spent the day alone and was sooo glad for it since I have so much crap going on all the time. But there's literally no torment like being alone when you don't want to be.

    I know you just lost your kitty, so it's hard to think of another pet...but I agree that would be such good therapy. I sure love my critters.

    Glad to hear your daughter is still doing so well! And yes...girl, eat!!! Take a vitamin. Stretch. Eat more. Carbs are what make your brain run.

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    1. Carbs are what make your brain run? Omg, that means I've probably been low on carbs all my life :)

      McDonald's ? We would have had to go our separate ways. I love the artificial, chemical smoke of Burger King. xo

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  7. These are so much better news, Liv.
    Be patient with the sinuses, they are tangled caves, they do take ages to heal.

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    1. Yes, and it will take a lot of practice to make it a part of me - but I'm workin' on it!

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  8. I had to smile about the Coke thing... that was the ONLY thing I almost lost my Mind about giving up due to the complications from Diabetes. When they said I didn't have to give up my Coke Zero after all I was Celebratory, but now ration myself strictly and still mostly drink ice water... so crazy that when I thought I couldn't have it anymore I melted down and realized, crap, THAT was my 'drug' habit so to speak and just as addictive! LOL Glad you're doing better. Dawn... The Bohemian

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    1. Isn't it crazy? I wish it wasn't so. What on earth do they put in it to have that instant addictive effect?

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