Tuesday, January 8, 2019

And the beat goes on....

Well, here's what I know so far.

I saw the plastic surgeon on Friday, what a doll! He is a gorgeous Korean doc.with impeccable style. Ivory polished linen shirt, not a crease, black silk tie, high end black slacks (you can tell) and Italian shoes (you can tell).  He is very professional but not uptight about it. Thorough is his middle name and he called me dear once. Once is enough, otherwise is seems condescending.

His suggestion is that instead of doing a double, he could possibly do only the right and a reduction on the left. God knows it needs it! The surgeon wants to do both, over cautious is not a bad thing when dealing with this shit. However, Dr. Gorgeous didn't sound real enthusiastic about saving the right breast as the right side has received substantial radiation which makes the skin not want to stretch to accommodate an implant. If he couldn't, then he would have no choice but to take it all the way off....lord! That would mean a prosthesis to balance me out. Not something I would enjoy, having to wear a rubber lump on my chest all the time. (I have a male roommate coming so braless is not an option with only one.)  And the roommate, OMG, the poor guy. He is an absolute doll but this is a lot to ask. He doesn't get here until the 12th and I haven't told him yet. I thought it best to do it in person. I hope I'm not wrong.

Anyway, Dr. G  so sweet. I have to go back for a second consultation to make sure that all my questions are answered and he was very adamant about that, saying that he had a patient when he first started that did not fully explain what she wanted and consequently didn't get what she wanted. He said it "pierced his heart" and that he never wanted that to happen again. That's my guy! He says he will do his best and I completely believe him.

Of course this gets hashed out by the two of them and I will know that on the 11th when I see the surgeon. My god, I have already had 5 appointments, not counting the biopsy and I have 3 more before the surgery which will be on Jan. 22, if you're curious. Just a side note: the mammograms, of which there were 4 different sets plus the biopsy with 2 incisions cost, wait for it............$9,836.00.
Yes, not kidding. Praise God for medicare. My portion of that is only 3 figures. A-fucking-mazing!!!! However, I would estimate that the two surgeries will total in the neighborhood of....$80,000 - $100,000??? More??? OMG. The surgery on my nose 2 years ago was $22,000. And that was just to fix a sinus problem.  There will be 2 because you don't know how much to reduce the left until you know if the right will stretch and that can take as much as 4 weeks, little by little adding saline. I'm going for a B....a small B! They don't use silicone anymore. Now it is a substance that he says is like a gummy bear so that, Gforbid, if anything happened then it would just sit there and could be easily removed. Believing stuff like that is one of the hard parts when considering what to do.

I've checked out tattoo's if it has to come off entirely, Thank You, Ellen! And they are pretty cool, some are gorgeous. But I think I might be too chicken. I have to hold my breath and close my eyes when they draw blood.......

I had a total meltdown day yesterday, pissed offfff and crying my head off when I talked to the medical assistant and she explained recovery time. It's insane, especially since I only have about 4 days worth of care from my daughter and my friend Nina - old friend (20 yrs), they're the best. But I won't be able to raise my arm above my head for 4/6 weeks. Hair! Acckkk!!!  And this is nothing compared to what might happen if they are both sayonaraed.
However, I have heard that there are fabulous women out there who will do a shampoo and blowout for free for women going through this. How cool is that? Just have to find one.

I sound pretty all right now, but believe me I have my moments of complete and utter terror. They pass and they are not that frequent, but they are certainly there. It would be weird if they weren't. I have so very much appreciated your kind comments. Keep 'em comin', Loves, 'cause I need 'em.

Love, love, love


  1. It’s a lot. So glad your doctors inspire confidence. Will you have a visiting nurse option while you heal?

    1. No, my insurance doesn't pay for that. Although, oddly, they will pay for a skilled nursing facility for 5 days with no copay. But that's only if it is a double. Otherwise it's my daughter and friend. But I'm soo grateful for them.

  2. I hope everything goes well. I work in cancer care and see women with one breast all the time, so often that it doesn't even seem odd anymore. It just is.

    Sending hugs and healing thoughts.

    1. Thank you for your well wishes. It's a real education finding out what women go through when they have this procedure. I will be looking into volunteer work with breast cancer patients after this is all over.

  3. what a terrible process and terrible decisions to make, so, strength to you. re the cost of medical care in this country is why we need national healthcare. this for profit medical system of ours just forces people into bankruptcy. people should not become doctors as a way to get rich.

    1. You sure got that on right, Ellen. The doctor who does my colonoscopy looks like she stepped out Vogue magazine and doesn't even attempt to tone it down. My consolation, for her nauseating flaunting it the fact that she has to look up people's asses all day.

  4. This is so hard to read and I admire your courage!
    I hope that all will go well for you.

    The world over women's lives are saved thanks to the amazing breast cancer research carried out in the US and yet, your medical system puts such a high price on it for its own women.
    It's such a shame.

    1. Even though we have the Affordable Care Act here, there are still women without insurance, especially immigrant women. This system is cruel to the poor and it's a travesty that we can't fix it yet.
      I'm doing well, Sabine, thank you.