tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9144492886967330098.post6801160735318380715..comments2023-04-18T02:34:38.665-07:00Comments on a slice of my heart: Just an ordinary daylivhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00091094639074377780noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9144492886967330098.post-49295399010884141662015-10-02T09:19:23.196-07:002015-10-02T09:19:23.196-07:00Oh, Jo - how do we do it? I keep seeing that imag...Oh, Jo - how do we do it? I keep seeing that image of the blowup clown with the weight in the bottom, and each time you punch him it seems like he is going down...but then up again he pops.<br /><br />I can't believe your sister would do that with your Dad's ashes. How incredibly sad that must have been for you. I wish this kind of familial dysfunction was not yours to bear either. But we do get by with the help of our friends. Thank you, friend.<br /><br />Your friend, Livlivhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00091094639074377780noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9144492886967330098.post-4381963253863693082015-10-02T00:08:17.550-07:002015-10-02T00:08:17.550-07:00Liv, I saw that you posted but when I came to read...Liv, I saw that you posted but when I came to read, nothing new was here. I guess it was being posted as I was looking for it so I am just seeing this now. Wow is my response to your words, the whole sibling thing sounds rather normal compared to the crap I experienced in my family. My Dad was cremated. I asked my older sister, the executor, for some ashes and she said no. Either they are scattered or she has them. I can relate to your frustration and am inspired by your decision to go back by yourself with your poem later. I love your words on forgiving. As Elizabeth said, they are original and calming and true as well. I hope you got comfort from visiting with your friend. Getting away sounded much needed. I'm glad I eventually saw this post and read your beautiful writing. You are in my heart and I send you lots of love. JoJoannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08015888228309968515noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9144492886967330098.post-84573639231685565732015-09-29T13:39:52.905-07:002015-09-29T13:39:52.905-07:00Gosh Mel, thank you so much for the thoughtful com...Gosh Mel, thank you so much for the thoughtful comment. Long comments are the very best. I love knowing how others feel in regards to my posts.<br /><br />Aren't families the most complicated things? We spend so many intimate years together enduring - well, at least experiencing the same things - and yet we often act like strangers. Strangers with no affinity to each other.<br /><br />It's a tough trip too in trying to navigate the wishes of parents - deceased or not. I have one friend who completely ignored her parents last wishes and she doesn't regret it at all. She feels they really were not in their right minds and made very poor decisions. We are all so very different!<br /><br />Good luck with your Mom. My trip to visit my friends had an unexpected outcome - maybe I'll post about that soon. I hope you keep your momentum for a while and post more. Your writing is always so honest...the best kind.livhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00091094639074377780noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9144492886967330098.post-53126437609455036302015-09-29T08:15:24.552-07:002015-09-29T08:15:24.552-07:00Such a beautiful and sad but hopeful post. Family ...Such a beautiful and sad but hopeful post. Family is so hard to navigate let alone understand. I have a delicate relationship with one sibling and none with the other, and a super complicated one with my mom, and it is hard to understand how we got to this place. I guess by being our selves.<br /><br />I'm glad you managed to gather the siblings for your mom's burial, and sorry about the locked car, things not going as planned. I took much the same role as you with my father's service, I was always the planner and organizer, and it helped to keep me busy so I didn't have to deal with the loss. My siblings did not do anything according to my plan but I managed to let my frustration with them go that day, but maybe not my judgement. That's been the hardest for me to accept or change, that I am judgmental to the core. I don't think I'm good at forgiveness either, so I admire your dedication.<br /><br />My father's ashes are still in my mom's living room, eight years later. He would not have wanted that, but mom will not let them go, not until she is gone too. Then she want's a burial plot somewhere? so that someone? will know that she lived. She didn't say they, though, and I judged that too. Dad wanted his ashed scattered, and I told her if she wants them buried with her, fine, but I get some of his ashes to scatter in his favorite places too. It would be nice to have some closure for all of us, and to honor his wishes. The irony is that Dad's wishes were always whatever would make Mom happy, but she did not get the happy gene.<br /><br />Sorry to babble on, but your post struck some nerves, and I hope your visit with your friend and your reading of the poem ease your loss and raise your spirits a little. Walking and laughing are the best therapies.<br /><br /> <br /><br />Melhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10114884092474969555noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9144492886967330098.post-43698630743683341672015-09-24T10:18:14.073-07:002015-09-24T10:18:14.073-07:00Dearest E,
I don't know how to say it, but wh...Dearest E,<br /><br />I don't know how to say it, but when you read you do more than just read. It makes the writing valid. <br />livhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00091094639074377780noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9144492886967330098.post-59298497207031930292015-09-24T10:04:23.553-07:002015-09-24T10:04:23.553-07:00Stunning -- in the true sense of the word. I don&#...Stunning -- in the true sense of the word. I don't think I've ever read anything about "letting go of forgiving" and find it beautiful and compassionate and so original. <br /><br />Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03313726816776097840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9144492886967330098.post-60659917899231859592015-09-24T08:42:03.991-07:002015-09-24T08:42:03.991-07:00AFBB -- Forgiveness, it seems we begin it with ou...AFBB -- Forgiveness, it seems we begin it with our first breath and never stop until our last. The poem is that little one that starts..."Do not stand beside my grave and weep, I am not there" I can't remember who wrote it right now but it's beautiful. And life goes on...<br /><br /><br />SJ -- Siblings are a whole other ball of wax, as they say. Even step siblings are probably a complexity aren't they? But I'm glad you don't have relationships that are as dysfunctional (I hate that word, maybe broken is better) as these. <br />You know I'm looking forward to your next post....xolivhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00091094639074377780noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9144492886967330098.post-57767386223592816602015-09-24T06:54:27.092-07:002015-09-24T06:54:27.092-07:00Astonishing. Truly. I need to sit with this for a ...Astonishing. Truly. I need to sit with this for a moment, because I feel like I just walked out of your world. I have no biological siblings, and it always fascinates me to watch those relationships unfold with others. I'm so glad you're going to visit your friend - you need some ease and lightness. What a year you have had. Thanks for writing!SJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14174193133138897712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9144492886967330098.post-12472142842707046142015-09-23T17:01:43.368-07:002015-09-23T17:01:43.368-07:00Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I know. I feel ...Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I know. I feel the pain of love and loss. Of forgiveness and being forgiven. It is the stuff of life. And yes, it all had meaning. Especially the locking in part - especially that. The needing help - needing the "unlocker" to finish the job part, because otherwise it was just too hard. On Friday it will be only you and her. The poem will mean more in that context. I love this post. Thanks.Colettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13929646037752189809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9144492886967330098.post-30626381835966883162015-09-23T15:51:05.716-07:002015-09-23T15:51:05.716-07:00Please excuse the double posting. I have no idea h...Please excuse the double posting. I have no idea how that happened. livhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00091094639074377780noreply@blogger.com