Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Come in, would you like to see the house?

I was going to write a nice light post --- I'm trying to keep them that way for awhile --- so that people will think that I'm not a crazy, bitch.  I'll hook you and then we'll sit down for a real chat. I hope you understand my sense of humor.

I was going to write about my stupid wonderful new roommate. He's a charmer. Sweet, smart, tidy as a pin. Washes every dish immediately, including mine (sometimes, it's not compulsory, although he can't stand to see them). I couldn't care less about dishes. I figure, save them up for awhile and then you'll get to keep your hands in a lovely sink full of warm and bubbly water while you daydream out the window. He's young and cute and quiet as a mouse...red flag there. We had a long talk about length of tenancy and rules (landlords) and smoking (none!) and alcohol (light).

It turns out that people who walk so lightly that you never know where they are until you turn around, are actually rather strange people. He's sat in his room for three solid months - on his computer. He said he is a freelance programmer. Turns out there is no such thing, as far as I can tell because he hasn't worked a day since he got here.  He has consumed over 250 bottles and cans beer (freakin' expensive IPA's). I know this because I have schlepped them all to the recycling place myself. Now that is an adventure! You can get drunk just walking into that place, the fumes! And no, I don't keep the money. What is wrong with me?!

I just found out from the landlord, when he wrote to say that he is raising the rent to $1,600, that he gave his notice on the 1st, I found out on the 6th. He said he was going to tell me .... next week. Believe me, I can not afford $1,600 by myself. He say's he has not been able to find an $18 hr. job, he can't take anything less than that. (my eyes are totally crossed here) So he has depleted his $. The min. in Oregon is, in most cases $12. He could have paid his rent 2 1/2 x's over each month. Is the word entitlement coming to mind? He is from Mass. .... Mass. will be getting him back shortly.

So now I had to slap up an ad for yet another one and cross my fingers that someone out there thinks that mine is better than the 386 others. And that who ever that is doesn't creep around the house like a ghost - nor drink like a fish.

So I thought I would give a little tour of the house, since it is already posted online for the whole world to see. I am not showing his, oddly, crazy-messy room. I'm really not one to talk, as this is the super tidied up version. This doesn't even look like a real person lives here, but evidently that is how it is done. You're probably going to think I am a snob, but I am actually a slob. Somehow I am not able to put things back where they belong until I can't remember where they belonged in the first place.
                                                                             
well that's pleasant - I sit here and dream about having raspberry plants again
                                                                                
see, he washed the dishes, it certainly wasn't me
I like this room, although the only time I spend in it is when I toss all those pillows off onto the floor because I am too traumatized to sleep in my own bed. It's really comfortable so they don't usually go back on for several days, it's addictive.
                                                                                 
I have never eaten a meal here because who wants to sit at a table this big all by themselves (odd word). I never eat at the kitchen table either. I eat in that chair there, where I also read. Sad. But the light is really good!
                                                                                
I didn't put this in the ad, but maybe I should, I'm going to rethink it. I killed that rug though, shampooed  it with one of those machines you get from home depot. It shriveled and shrunk like an old ladies boobs - had to throw it away. I miss it.
They don't need to see anything else. You wouldn't believe what other people show...bathrooms with the toilet seat up..my god!

Ok, I'm trying to hold my head up and stop the already three days of torrential tears.   Do I look worried?  Believe me, I am.  I finally took a shower...4 days is enough. Thank Jesus for erase, I actually have purple/black circles under my eyes.  I have had at least 2 bouts of hang your head crying today. I'll probably, like in I will, have another when I go to bed tonight. Everything will be alright. Everything will be alright. Actually writing this did make me feel better.  Pray, pray, pray for a sane roommate for me, one who actually comes out of her room now and then.....noooo more men! And I promise to wash my own dishes.
                                                                   
                                                                           

    oh yeah, I cut my hair 

Listen, I am never going to write about politics or religion (probably). I leave it for others who are way smarter than me. But I do like to read about it, y'all inspire me and teach me to try to be a better person.  This is just not that kind of blog.

Love
Liv                                                                      



                                                    


21 comments:

  1. OMG, this post is hilarious! And it’s nice to see your home and you and your new haircut.
    I wonder who was paying his rent? And you should definitely keep the money from the cans. I can’t believe he would take it from you. I would be too embarrassed to take it.

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  2. Well, it seems he only had enough to pay his rent for three months. Strange, because he said he had a "substantial" savings, and he said he would be here for at least a year. If you could see this guy, you would have totally believed him too. Oh, I am keepin' the money, honey!

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    1. Why can't I remember to hit reply instead of comment?? Actually, that figure is wrong. The first batch I took was 150, I know this because I got $15 dollars..for him. Now there are, nooo lie, about 200 out there. I should have taken a picture. So yeah, it's my money!!

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  3. make sure the next applicant has a real job I guess. what a pain to have to go through that all over again.

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    1. I'm going to have the next one investigated by Scotland Yard!

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  4. Love this post! I am so happy to discover you are a slob instead of a snob. Good choice. I try to be the same. I sincerely hope the next roommate is worthy of you. I like your house.

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    1. You would not believe my bathroom counter right :)
      Let's hope there IISS a next one!

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  5. You've got a lovely home. I hope you find a lovely person to share it with you.
    Also, I am delighted to read that you do the dishes whenever you fancy. Very sensible. Warm soapy water is bliss for hands and daydreams. Unfortunately I am sharing my life with a dishwasher fanatic, who regularly rearranges the way I stack the dishes in the machine.

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    1. That's so funny, Sabine. Because when I do use the dishwasher..I..rearrange everyone else's dishes!
      I think we should just go stick our hands in warm soapy water and daydream whenever we feel like it. Sans dishes is perfectly fine.

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  6. Yes, add an entryway picture, inviting the right energy in!

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    1. A, It is a good entryway isn't it? I love the idea of inviting good energy in - that's kind of the Asian way of thinking too. Thank you for the thought.

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  7. You have a lovely home and hope you have a lovely roommate to share it with soon as well. Um, full disclosure here, I too am a dish Nazi. I hate dirty dishes. I am better than when I was younger but then get done quite quickly. My son started to do the dishes last night in a sink of cold water with no suds and I said no way. He looked at me. I drained the sink and told him you need hot water and soap. He just smiled and did the dishes and they're actually clean this time:)

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    1. That made me laugh, cold water and no soap. Sometimes I wonder how the young get through life without starving or freezing to death. I could never get my daughter to wear a coat... she still doesn't.

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  8. I hope you find the perfect person to share your lovely home. Your eyes look sad in that picture but you are beautiful. Are there any universities near you? Students are always looking.

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    1. That's an awful picture of me. I was being silly but you're right - sad is hard to conceal. I would expect you to see that, A. Writers always see the unseen.
      Yes, I've put up ads at the PCC, the college near me. I wanted to advertise at the hospital near me. Thought a nurse might need something, but they won't let you - odd.

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  9. I hope you find the perfect woman or young man or old man or even alien to share your pretty house. I am so sorry that you're under this much stress -- I understand it. Hang in there.

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    1. I just might..might..have found someone. We'll so. But thanks for your kind thoughts.

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  10. Sending good thoughts your way!! I am sure it is nerve-wracking but you have at least learned from this bad experience (in terms of what to look for). Do you know of any divorce groups that meet locally? Perhaps they would let you post wherever they meet (community hall); I know many women my age (I'm 54) who are in a similar predicament. I am in the middle of a divorce, and even though I am keeping the house, the financial worries are all-consuming...

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    1. I'm sorry your going through that, Elle. Thank heavens you get to keep the house. But still - that's not the end of the story, is it? Thinking of you.

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  11. Oh good luck Liv. Things do have a way of working themselves out and I believe they will for you. You will find just the right one for your splendid home♥️ Joanne

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    1. Thanks, Joanne! I think I might have just found one. Yipee, sweet young girl. If all goes well, then I will blog about it. Thanks for the good thoughts!

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