Thursday, June 16, 2016

You said WHAT?

OK, here's how it went...

My daughter is the funniest person on earth.
She is a massage therapist specializing in the damndest, greatest massage you ever had in your life!!

The thing with massage therapist is that if you don't have your own studio, and most therapists don''s a spendy thing, you work for someone.  A clinic, a chiropractor etc.
But the other thing is that therapists are always looking for jobs because, A - most people don't pay enough. Get this...someone was in a car accident, the chiropractor gets paid by the insurance company for each adjustment about.... let's say $165.  Then the client gets a massage to follow the adjustment and that gets paid by the insurance company at $165 too.  The therapist gets......$30 to $50.
B - When you get hired, clinics and chiro's always say...we have TONS of business! We can guarantee you a full work week, in fact we have more business than we can handle.  And then they call you at 8:am to tell you that the 2 massages they have booked for you...both cancelled.
Some give health insurance but the majority don't.  My daughter has been paying $365 a month for her health insurance, that's on the ACA (eyes crossed here)

So my daughter is looking for a job where none of these things happen and maybe some good stuff happens.  She has been a therapist for 4 years, she has done more that 4000 massages, she knows what she is doing. She constantly has people come back who ask only for her.  No lie, I'm not just being an exaggerating mom here.

So she's looking for another job. She responds to an ad, it sounds really good.  They are offering $45 an hour.  They say they can guarantee her 30 hrs. a week. They pay insurance, they give paid vacation !!!!! and there's free parking...what's not to like?
She interviews. They ask every kind of technical question under the sun, like they are interviewing for a brain surgeon.  She flies through that. (well, a couple little glitches, but my girl can charm the heck out of anybody!!) The boss asks for a massage to check her skills (they all do), usually a 1/2 hr.  The woman says, 90 minutes!  My daughter does deep tissue work, that's hard.  The woman wants deep tissue, for 90 minutes! Most massages, which are usually 1hr. long, are a variation of different techniques, so neither your muscles nor the therapist gets overworked. After about an hour, my daughter is sweating like a pig and thinking that she's going to kill this woman by breaking every bone in her body, and she say's the woman was yammering through the whole thing like this was a tea party, and of course you have to answer back and of course by now you do want to kill the bitch! THEN they sit down for the "let's get to know each other" conversation which lasts for 45 minutes where the boss lady continues to yammer on about how wonderful, cool, prestigious and prosperous her business is.  L is a little overwhelmed not to mention tired, but she wants to make a good impression. Oh did I mention that the office manager sat in on all of this and took notes...notes! for christ sake!  So the ending question was, of course, what do you like to do in your spare time..... she really wanted to impress them....

I'm listening to this whole thing with my mouth wide open and feeling for her as her eyes are rolling in her head, so I said  - well what did you tell them?
She said

I'm a bee keeper.

My daughter is allergic to bees!


  1. she gave this woman a free 90 minute massage as part of the interview? I hope she got the job. I'd be pissed if I didn't. in fact I'd send her a bill for the massage. you may not think what your daughter pays in insurance is high but without the ACA it would have been double that at least and no pre-existing conditions covered. I never had insurance in all of my working life as a self employed artist. The ACA came a couple of years before medicare so I waited for that.

  2. Ellen,
    Yeah, I would have wanted to bill her too. No news about whether or not she got it, but I'm kind of hoping she didn't. Who would really want to work for someone like that?

    As for insurance - no matter where, how or how much - thank god she's got it!!!!

  3. I'd be curious if there really is a job. Maybe this woman interviews a different massage therapist every week.

  4. Portia,

    You could be right. My daughter said that the woman told her that they had interviewed 8 applicants, including her. So that would mean 8 90min. massages! Maybe she's just a mastermind of a bazaar scheme..?

    This was all on Saturday, and no call yet - or maybe ever...hmm??

  5. A bee keeper, LOL! How creative in a pinch. I hope there really is a job. Your daughter should follow up on that and bust her if there isn't. I hope she gets it if she wants it.

  6. Joanne

    It was so hysterical when she told me. I couldn't stop laughing! I asked her why she said that and she said .. I just wanted to be creative :))
    I'm almost hoping she doesn't get. It would be so stressful working for a woman like that.

  7. No, please, no. Tell me that this post was a joke and the punchline is from one of your own stand-up routines. I cannot believe it. Your daughter deserves her own practice. Simple as. :-)

    Greetings from London.

  8. CIL

    No, every word is absolutely true. My daughter is so witty and funny. She cracks me on a regular basis - I mean, really, laugh till you cry!

    She hasn't heard from them, so we are thinking that they feel a bee keeper would not fit in with their posh hobbies, like maybe watching The Housewifes of LA, or getting mani/pedi's.

    And yes, you are right she does deserve her own practice. You would be lucky to get a massage from her, it would turn you to jelly.