Wednesday, November 11, 2015

My overarching theme

I keep trying and trying and trying - I am mostly a failure - but if I stop trying, the failure is too much.

Forgiveness is a mountain
I climb every day
I climb it until my fingers
need bandages
I'm always running out
of bandages

Forgiveness is like breakfast
I wake in the morning with a stomach ache
a bit of nausea
I know I should eat
I don't want to
it's always a struggle
I never like what I eat in the morning
it's always too harsh
I think breakfast should be clouds or gentle rain or a cool breeze
something that sits soft within me
but I make myself do it
I eat the food slowly to ease it's harshness
my body is better for it
I m stronger
I eat forgiveness for breakfast
my soul is better for it
I am stronger

Forgiveness is bitter
I recoil from it's smell
it's bitterness makes me gag
I swallow it
the next day I swallow it again
and then again
pretty soon it's not so bad
each day it's bitterness wanes a bit
after some time
I begin to taste a sweetness behind the bitter
I'm used to it now
some days I even crave it
the bitter sweetness
of forgiving

Forgive my trespasses as I forgive those who trespass against me -
so hard and so simple and so hard