Thursday, June 16, 2016

You said WHAT?

OK, here's how it went...

My daughter is the funniest person on earth.
She is a massage therapist specializing in the damndest, greatest massage you ever had in your life!!

The thing with massage therapist is that if you don't have your own studio, and most therapists don''s a spendy thing, you work for someone.  A clinic, a chiropractor etc.
But the other thing is that therapists are always looking for jobs because, A - most people don't pay enough. Get this...someone was in a car accident, the chiropractor gets paid by the insurance company for each adjustment about.... let's say $165.  Then the client gets a massage to follow the adjustment and that gets paid by the insurance company at $165 too.  The therapist gets......$30 to $50.
B - When you get hired, clinics and chiro's always say...we have TONS of business! We can guarantee you a full work week, in fact we have more business than we can handle.  And then they call you at 8:am to tell you that the 2 massages they have booked for you...both cancelled.
Some give health insurance but the majority don't.  My daughter has been paying $365 a month for her health insurance, that's on the ACA (eyes crossed here)

So my daughter is looking for a job where none of these things happen and maybe some good stuff happens.  She has been a therapist for 4 years, she has done more that 4000 massages, she knows what she is doing. She constantly has people come back who ask only for her.  No lie, I'm not just being an exaggerating mom here.

So she's looking for another job. She responds to an ad, it sounds really good.  They are offering $45 an hour.  They say they can guarantee her 30 hrs. a week. They pay insurance, they give paid vacation !!!!! and there's free parking...what's not to like?
She interviews. They ask every kind of technical question under the sun, like they are interviewing for a brain surgeon.  She flies through that. (well, a couple little glitches, but my girl can charm the heck out of anybody!!) The boss asks for a massage to check her skills (they all do), usually a 1/2 hr.  The woman says, 90 minutes!  My daughter does deep tissue work, that's hard.  The woman wants deep tissue, for 90 minutes! Most massages, which are usually 1hr. long, are a variation of different techniques, so neither your muscles nor the therapist gets overworked. After about an hour, my daughter is sweating like a pig and thinking that she's going to kill this woman by breaking every bone in her body, and she say's the woman was yammering through the whole thing like this was a tea party, and of course you have to answer back and of course by now you do want to kill the bitch! THEN they sit down for the "let's get to know each other" conversation which lasts for 45 minutes where the boss lady continues to yammer on about how wonderful, cool, prestigious and prosperous her business is.  L is a little overwhelmed not to mention tired, but she wants to make a good impression. Oh did I mention that the office manager sat in on all of this and took notes...notes! for christ sake!  So the ending question was, of course, what do you like to do in your spare time..... she really wanted to impress them....

I'm listening to this whole thing with my mouth wide open and feeling for her as her eyes are rolling in her head, so I said  - well what did you tell them?
She said

I'm a bee keeper.

My daughter is allergic to bees!