The Monday morning Netflix movie review on Tuesday

I'm usually a very prompt person.  But yesterday got away from me.  Tuesday is a good day too.

Because of my current situation - too much to explain and you don't want to hear it anyway - I have been watching an inordinate bit of Netflix.  So I thought I would share some of the movies that I have especially enjoyed.  I'll warn you straight off that I am much more fond of foreign films than I am of American made.  There's nothing wrong with American films, well, yes there is, and of course some of them are quite good...some. I find that, for me, foreign films give a more authentic depiction of emotion and the lose of identifying a person with the role - as in Meryl Streep - whom I always see no matter what her role. (and yes, the fact is not lost on me that I don't know these actors like I "know" American actors, but I don't care)  Foreign films also don't have the pressure to provide a "happy ending" as American films do and I think that sometimes life doesn't have a happy ending and it's ok to show that.  I will try to fit some comedies in too, as I do like a good laugh but some of you know me so you know what to expect...  And I know I talk too much, but they won't all be this verbose, I just needed to set the ground work.

 I'm not going to have a set number that I review or even a set day on which I will review, I'm not good at being tied down, as you already see that I've missed my proposed date, and of course you know that these reviews are only my opinion, for whatever that's worth and I'll try to keep them as short as I can so that I don't give away the whole plot.  Which I would love to do because I like to talk.

I'm also not guaranteeing that all of these that I have watched are still available.  Netflix movies can suddenly disappear because they don't own many of them. So when a lease expires, the film is gone.  However, there is always the option of seeing them on DVD.  So if you see a title that seems interesting to you - watch it ! - because it may be gone tomorrow.  This is probably already information you know, but I like to talk....so here we go.

FIRST:

My first very most favorite film that I have watched was BIUTIFUL (!!!)
I'll warn you right now that it may not be there anymore...rent it if it's not!
This movie stars Javier Bardem and is, in my opinion, the most exquisite performance he
has ever given. Just a shifting of his eyes says what it would take 5 minutes of dialogue for any other actor to convey. It's a hard movie to watch because of it's painful subject matter, but well worth it.
In other words...you will cry.

SECOND, THIRD AND FOURTH:

These are 3 films by the same actress -  Emmanulle Devos.  This French actress is brilliant.  She plays funny, sexy, poignant with a unique ability to really make you think/feel that you feel what she is feeling.  She really pulls you in with her quirky, Emmanulle-ness.  I can't get enough of her!

# 1 - - VIOLETTE
This movie is about Violette Leduc.  Violette was the protege of Simone de Beauvoir.  It gives a glimpse into the lives of both women, each who had tremendous talent, Beauvoir with all the support of fame and privilege and Violette, an outsider unsure of her skill and without any awareness of her considerable talent. Leduc was unknown to me before this so it was especially interesting for me to be introduced to a new author.

# 2 -- IF YOU DON'T I WILL
A French couple exploring the viability of their marriage and issues of trust.  Funny and sweet.


# 3 -- JUST A SIGH
A chance encounter between a man and a woman in Paris and the exploration of attraction and love. Devos uses facial expressions to convey plot almost to the level of Bardem...the master!  She is at her quirky best here.


My final review, this week, is for you, E.  You have maybe seen this but if not it is something I know you will enjoy!

FIFTH:

WORDS AND PICTURES

Clive Owen and Juliette Binoche in a poetic dance between the beauty of the written word and the magic of art.  Very well done.  Two very awake minds sparing is my idea of fun!  I was so drowning in the truths revealed in this movie, that my feet were frozen the whole time and I didn't even think to move to warm them.  That's how good it is.  I'm going to watch it again right away!






My next review - whenever it shows up - will be about some Oscar worthy performances by children.  Only they are children, in foreign films, hence they could never be up for such awards because they are children, foreign children in foreign films, giving the kind of performances that even Oscar winners cannot give.  For me, a captivating performance by a child who cannot be seen to be acting -  is the essence of acting.  Pure and magical.
(Sorry for my over use of the word foreign)


So, thank you for letting me indulge.  Now go watch a movie !

Today

Today I surrender.

My burden is lifted and there is peace.

Tomorrow I will surrender again.
 ©

Namaste

seeing another world

                                                  

                                                    
          My Mom with my brother and sister and me, lower right corner
                                              Beverly Fisher 1928 - 2015

Happy Mother's Day to all the lovely moms whose blogs I read and who share their joys and their sorrows and their insights with me. I learn from you and laugh with you and occasionally cry with you.  And it all makes me a better mother.  Thank you.

It is not a happy day here except vicariously through your joy..  Last night was a hard night, with excuses and  entreaties and lots of pain on both sides. Addiction doesn't always take time off for holidays. E is gone for the day to give me time in peace and I hope to try to find her way, if only for one day. But next weekend might bring a celebration when enough time has passed to sweeten Love.

And no matter what, being a mom is divine, it brings a lot of gifts and a lot of Love under many  different guises.

But today is also a day to take time to remember and send Love to mothers who are truly suffering all over the world, on a day that maybe belongs to them, more than any of us
.
Mothers in shelters. Mothers separated from their children for reasons they don't understand.  Mothers grieving at the graves of departed children gone before their time and mothers sitting at the beds of terminally ill children.  Mothers in prison and mothers separated from their children because of their own addiction.  Mothers mourning children who have been taken by spouses who's whereabouts are not known and mothers, without hope, holding hungry babies in refugee camps. Mothers trying to console children hurt in ways neither they nor we can reason nor understand. All mothers suffering every where in this world.   And most especially to mothers who today have lost a child.

                                            

                                                                source unknown

              It is an honor to acknowledge them today and to wish them peace and Love and solace.

Down to the bone

   It feels that way.  Like it can't get any closer, any deeper.  I'm embarrassed.  I wait and I try to find  something you will want to hear.  Something full of love and strength and inspire you a bit. That's what I look for - although your pain, concealed or expressed, comes into open hands. And I know you're not supposed to blog the un-bloggable.  But I keep failing at the first and the second is all I have to write.  Forgive me.

It will get better, I know that , you don't need to tell me - yet anything you say will feed me.

I'd been renting a house for 32 years.  Yes, I did.  I loved it, it was my home.  Cherished, cared for, clean and tidy. My god, the flowers.   A sanctuary.  And I've always needed one.  He finally showed up on the doorstep.  A sunny, warm June day. I knew it was coming, I knew it would come when the sun was finally here. I've waited and feared that knock for 32 years.  He said I had 60 days to leave, he wanted his retirement out of it right now.  $300,000.00 - cash - in 30 days and it could be mine, mine.  In 32 years he had only been there 4 times.  Just to look, no help.

Shaking , sweating , I said that I had just put my ira into it, so proud I had one. Money, please understand.  A new driveway, gutters, paint.  He shrugged. 60 days after 32 years, just a little more time?  He wanted what he wanted, now.  He shrugged.

Boxes and boxes, filling, lifting, filling, lifting.  An nowhere to carry them to.  So, so much left behind. No space, no time.  Space is a blessing, time is divine. Yellow damask Chippendale left on the curb, English secretary with all those sweet, tiny drawers.  Model replica of Palladio's Villa Rotunda, painstakingly made - wood cut with an elves saw, painted floors and plaster ceiling.  Look through the tiny windows into the 16th century.  At one time I had a lot of strength and time and too late now, I realize skill. A little money for some pieces, the Palladio, thank god.  I mourn them and many, many other things - but I take comfort, have learned to take comfort, in knowing that someone must have gasped, I hope they gasped and treasure them now, I hope they treasure them.   I lost 20#'s.

  45 days in and we found something.  Thousands of dollars to move to and in -  first and last, security. But I'm not secure.  Money, down to the bone.  It's lovely. (my beautiful daughter, the apartment whisper) It's a duplex, even better than an apartment.  Clean and spacious, a creek in the backyard. Smuggled in cat is in heaven.  We have 90 days to get out now - at least that's better than 60. They want it back too - they're old, it's nice, they'll be happy here.

30 days in, paint not dry yet but most boxes unpacked or stuffed somewhere.  My Mother is dying. No brothers or sister can or will find room for her.  Daughter and I strip the dining room. There's enough room now for a hospital bed.  There are good, good souls in Hospice, I never knew this.  But thank god.  Still it's 24/7 because I am her daughter.  So much pain between us, so much pain for her, laying in that bed. But unexpected forgiveness too.  She stroked my hair once, that made up for so much.  15 more #'s.  Food just doesn't make sense. I'm close to the bone.

She left some money.  It was her way of saying I love you. Blessings like that, and that one is a blessing, give hope.  She left me with hope.  That makes up for so much. Thanks seems so inadequate.  But that's all I have left, besides the hope. 

Death changes things. 4 siblings and no connection now.  It's to be expected, I guess.  It happens in a lot of families.  Especially when alcohol was the backdrop, the stage, the theme.

My beautiful, smart and a thousand loving adjectives daughter is struggling. It's so fucked.  So fucked that that gene gets passed on.  It will snarl one up with no discrimination.  It doesn't care about the adjectives - it only wants blood.  I don't believe in that whole "pray for me" thing.  But pray for her.  We're gonna' get separated now.  After two years of living together and trying together to beat this monster down, she has to go her own way and so do I.  We are both at the bone now.

She still takes her bipolar medicine - she says she does. But alcohol messes it up so much.  I take mine.  I crave it.  I hold it tight to my chest. It's giving me life now when the illness took away so much - from both of us.  I want her to have life too, but I can't give it to her.  She will have to find it on her own now.

I don't want to move again.  I feel so old all of a sudden.  I want someplace where I can stop for good, build another sanctuary.  But like I said, I have hope and that's so good.  It's another sunny day.  I'm going to go out to the beautiful creek and pet the happy cat.    I am at the bone but I'm skinny now.  That's good, right?

Love, Liv

And PS:   I'm reading, reading lots.
Maeve Binchy -Maeve's Times  - funny little stories she wrote when she worked for The Irish Times.
Katherine Mansfield's - Stories - lovely
Wm & H'ry - the letters of William and Henry James to each other - so loving
Alan Bennett - Untold Stories  - love, love his writing, so sensitive
Vanessa Bell - Sketches in Pen and Ink - stories of the childhood her and Virginia Woolf
and lastly
Leslie Maitland - Crossing the Borders of Time - a true love story

So that and walking, walking and walking sustain and nurture me now -   All good, proud of myself.