Wednesday, March 21, 2018

I'm in Thailand

                                                                                  
Ha! There is a a lot I don't need to know! Perhaps I should stay away from Bangkok.

Obviously I am not there. If I was, I would be sitting on warm sand at the edge of the ocean and not writing this. I would be sending you gorgeous pictures of beaches and lusty food.

My roommate is Thai. A culture that I've never known anything about. Lovely people, lovely land.
We get along pretty well. She is nice and and I am learning to eat and cook Thai foods. I like most of the food, but dessert's, no no no! (crisco and sugar !) And I've learned to say: Sa wad dee ka, hello and goodbye. Sa bai dee mai ka, how are you and Kab koon ka, thank you. Ka is how you end a sentence if you are female.... Men don't have an ending.

It is difficult living with strangers all the time, especially when you know they are transient. She is young and as a lot of young people are, she must be right all the time. I mean all the time. I think that might just be a personality thing. She and her uncle own several restaurants here so there is a lot of security about money and she is a world wide traveler. No exag. I think she said she has been to 30 countries and is going to Hawaii in the next two weeks (she's been there twice) and will go to Argentina this summer. It is a little tough for me because essentially she also thinks there is nothing good about America, except for, shopping, traffic (Thailand doesn't have the infrastructure that we do), the fact that people let you go in front of them in the grocery store if you only have a couple of things, and the pastries. Seriously, that's about all. She thinks American food is bland and disgusting, although she loves McDonalds and eats there at least twice a week. Go figure! I wanted to say that perhaps she could also like the fact that we let her in and she earns more money here than she probably could in any other part of the world. But I didn't. I let her be right and I don't challenge her negative views. Because I need her to stay here !  Even though I have given her the master suite, and for $200 less than I pay for my 10 x 10 foot room, it is still $$ and it helps to pay the rent, good enough. And in spite of everything, I do like her and enjoy her company and we laugh a lot, she has a very sweet side - when she isn't criticising, it's just a winding road to keep things smooth.

There have been some sad goings on with a sort of distant member of the family. Alcoholic families are very complicated. It's hard to extract yourself from that, especially when you love the other person who is suffering. This is a particularly sweet and good hearted young man, so kind, so endearing and he just cannot make healthy decisions, for a lot of sad reasons. My heart is breaking for him and there is pretty much nothing I can do, except tell him I am here, if and when he can ever accept love and help. He really is the jewel of the family. And no matter what, he remains so.

It's made me think about the concept of opportunities and how we see them in regards to those who have them and those who don't. Everyone has opportunities, "New Age" cheering tells me that. I see  it, but I do not always believe it. I also see something else that I do believe. People who have opportunities and have seized them, often times do not understand those who have very little, or none. It doesn't happen so much in America, we are the "Land of Opportunities". But the world is full of those without a chance, or very little. It makes me very upset when people say that those suffering during the Holocaust had choices. Some did, of course, but there were others........

 I'm thinking of war zones, in particular, Syria comes to mind. Where are all the choices there? I can think of a few examples to illustrate what I mean but it's all so heartbreaking.
 
I hope this darling young man see's the opportunities that are being extended toward him. But he is very broken. It is possible that he is so far down that he can not see them. And it is possible that he may never. I just love him, that's all I really know.

 In regards to my thinking about choices and opp's, it's complicated, I am complicated, so is America.  Like Marco  say's, I'm just talking to the trees.

Other than that, I am doing just fine. We've had a ton of sun here.
Lord what would we do without sun?

10 comments:

  1. It sounds like your roommate's constant criticisms of America are making you feel bad about America. I once worked in Romance Languages and Literature department at a university where all the elitist, privileged Europeans were constantly criticizing American manners and mores. I found it rude and unseemly. Especially since they were making so much more money working at an American university than they could in France, Spain, or Italy. I quickly figured out that it wasn't a cultural issue, it was a class issue. They came from countries where class mobility is insurmountable and unchangeable. They were taught they were superior. That made them haughty and arrogant. The good thing about being an American is that we find such arrogance unacceptable. I suspect it is not her age that makes her think she is always right, it is more likely her family did not teach her kindness or empathy. Ignore her rudeness if you can.

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    1. No, I don't feel bad about America. Believe me, I am glad I live here (most of the time). There are manymanymany things to be proud of and grateful for in having been born an American. (that would be a long list for a blog post!) But she does poke at the weak spots..trump,corruption, etc. It makes me defensive, but I don't argue. No point...because, it is as you say, she is oddly lacking in empathy and comes from the upper class in Thailand. Life...

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  2. Well hey there stranger - I totally believed that you were in Thailand for a second! :). I love that she hates American food and loves McDonald’s - oh the irony. Good to hear from you!

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    1. Well, I don't think I would like to visit Thailand. But if I was going to go anywhere, it would have to include a stop over to SJ's house!
      I loved that last post, come back soon :)

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  3. Maybe get a set of noise canceling headphones for when she starts up. Maybe she will get the hint. She’s a guest in your country and needs to zip it.

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    1. You make me laugh, Birdie. And I am so thankful for that!!

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  4. I am biased about Thailand although I've never been but my daughter once spent a year there on a university exchange program and fell in love with the country and the people (she does that all over the world).
    We love having visitors from wherever and the weird and wonderful adventures and discussions another culture has to offer.

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    1. Yes, I am sure I would like it there, too. I do enjoy learning about her culture. We, too, have great conversations and learning to cook the food is fun and delicious!
      It's just that the criticism gets kind of wearing after a while.

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  5. I am glad you like your roommate. It's a tough time to be high on America, at least in macrocosm. In microcosm, however, there is so much good. I'm grateful for that. I am sorry about your relative who is struggling. There seem to be so many families struggling with exactly this right now. Holding space for your loved one, hoping he can reach the branch extended to him.

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    1. Right now it is the small things, yes. I try to only speak positively about America. I hope someday she will see things that way.

      Thank you for your concern. We love him so much and we never let go of the branch.

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